Home Plot - Part 3

[adifferentlife]

There had been little sleep for Sybil that night, unable to stop her mind from racing. Each word that was spoken at dinner played over in her head, followed quickly by her stilted conversation with Henri and then the one with her sister. When the maid comes to wake her she's already up and dressed, sitting at her dressing table and counting the minutes until she can go down for breakfast and then to the hospital.

Breakfast was a rushed affair as well, nodding and answering when asked a question and grateful that Mary was still abed. When she excuses herself she declines the offer of a ride into the village, wanting the walk to clear her head. This is her home, and yet she feels out of place. Has she changed so much? Will they be here forever, and will she have to find a way to make this her life again? These are the things that she wonders on the way to the hospital, thoughts that deserve more time than she has to dedicate to them. There's a transport there which means a morning of blood and sweat as they take in patients and get them clean and settled.

Sybil rushes toward Henri, barely making eye contact as she hurries to help him settle a patient. "Good morning."

Comments

[adifferentlife]

If he had mentioned opulence she would have protested, noting how much less they all had at Downton then before the war. But it would be a protestation that she only felt half-heartedly, especially since her time in Darrow where she has become accustomed to having so much less.

“They are. They’re horrible, though we do not get the worst patients here.” Yet, even still she has seen blindness caused by the gas, seen it force a young man’s hand into taking his own life. She’s seen the scars and blisters and it makes her wonder how it is men can do these things to one another. “I’ve heard stories from the men, from other hospitals. About how they scream and cannot bear to be touched, even with sheets.”

[jaimemieux]

Combeferre looked away, for a moment unable to hide his own pain and regret at all he had seen here. “I have read, of course,” he said softly. “I have heard about the suffering of this war. But seeing it is another matter.” He looked at Sybil hesitantly. “Have you seen other hospitals?”

[adifferentlife]

"Only the one that I trained at. It was- It was harder there. They had better facilities and we had many of the more difficult cases." As a trainee she hadn't been allowed to help on those wards until the very end, but there is a darkness in her eyes that she cannot hide from him in that moment. "I cannot understand how any could be so cruel."

[jaimemieux]

“Evil men exist in the world. And worse yet, many good men will do evil things, if the circumstances are right. But I would not have guessed-“ Though he knew they should keep their distance on the off-chance that someone came upon them, Henri reached for her then, wrapping her in a fierce embrace, hating to see that pain in her eyes. “I didn’t know,” he had to admit. “But there were a lot of things I didn’t know.”

[adifferentlife]

“Our lives are not so simple as we wish them to be, are they?” She is grateful for the embrace, leaning against him and breathing in his warmth. In some small way, her words are an admission of the thing she is sure is bothering them both. “We come from very different places, and in Darrow that does not seem to matter. But here…”

[jaimemieux]

“Here there are barriers that I let myself forget.” Combeferre exhaled softly. There were things of which he would rather not speak, but if they were to be blessed with so few opportunities to see each other in private, when else could he do it? “Sybil, if we are to find ourselves here permanently, I fear our situation becomes… precarious. I do not wish to lose you.” The last he added swiftly, almost stumbling over his words.

[adifferentlife]

“Nor I you,” she says sincerely, her hand gripping his tightly. Almost as if she worries that should she let go she will lose him entirely. Sybil clears her throat, unsure of how exactly she can explain what she has to tell him next. “Thomas told me once, in Darrow, that I eloped with Branson in my future. He was- is, our chauffeur. I would gladly marry you tonight if I thought it might end our worries.”

[jaimemieux]

“Branson.” Combeferre had met a number of people in the last wild twenty-four hours, and had forgotten many of their names as swiftly as he had been told them. But Tom Branson had stuck, if only because he had seen in the man a kindred spirit of sorts. He had even wondered if he might seek the man out, cultivate at least one friendship in this strange world that seemed right and familiar. “I- I think I met him,” he said after an uncomfortable silence.

[adifferentlife]

It worries her immensely that he doesn't respond to her offer of marrying him, but rather to her mention of the chauffeur who is a friend but nothing more. Sybil takes his hand, clutching it. "That's not important Henri. You and I, we are what's important."

[jaimemieux]

“Of course. Of course we are.” Henri clasped Sybil’s hands fiercely and brought them to his lips. What a fool he was, riddled with petty jealousies, when he might lose the woman he loved entirely. But it was easy to be jealous, even for a sensible mind, when his fear of losing her had never felt so fierce.

He had thought before of marrying Sybil - had thought about it quite a bit, in fact. But in Darrow, the idea had been as idyllic and easy to contemplate as their nights spent together. Here, it overwhelmed him. “I would marry you in an instant, you must know that. But such would only compound our troubles, pull us apart more swiftly. I have nothing-“ Henri took a breath, straightening. “I will not always have nothing. I will find a way for us, I promise you that."

[adifferentlife]

"I do not care what we have, if you are there," she says, and she knows now that she means it. All of the wealth means nothing to her without him. "We could work, and make our way. Unless-"

There is a thought that has wormed into her head, and it is one that is hard to dislodge. "Do you not wish to?"

[jaimemieux]

“More than anything,” Henri assured her quickly. “I love you so. I am-“ Damn it all, he was doing this all wrong. He did not want to hurt her, and God only knew how desperately he wanted her by his side, but they had to think sensibly. “We can work, yes, but Sybil- I must have something besides a room at an inn and a patron who is already halfway to regretting his kindness to me. I fear Doctor Clarkson will turn me out eventually, and then what?” He took a breath. “I only need some time to get my affairs in order. Please understand, Sybil."

[adifferentlife]

“We can do this together,” she insists, though she’s no time to say much else. Two other nurses come out of the door, already fumbling with cigarettes. Sybil takes a discreet step back from Henri, and bows her head slightly to seem deferential.

“I love you,” she whispers as she walks past him and back in the door. Hopefully that is enough to see them through..