[[for Henri]]

[adifferentlife]

Sybil sits on the edge of the bed, the box clutched between her hands. She has yet to open it, unable to take it out and perform the test that feels as if it has already changed everything. It's simple enough to find out the truth she knows. All she has to do is open the box and administer the test. Open the box and she won't even have to mention it to Henri if the test is negative.

More lies? More secrets dividing us?

That thought preys on her until she can think of nothing but the strained moments that have sat between them since their return from Downton. They are fewer these days, but they still exist and though there are less of them they seem deep all the same.

She hears the door open and her grip on the box tightens until she's crushing it, her knuckles white.

"I'm in the bedroom," she calls out when she hears him say her name. A part of her wants to hide the test, but she squares her shoulders instead, holding it firm in her lap.

Comments

[adifferentlife]

His words are nearly too much for her. He says everything that she wanted and yet everything that she worries of. "Nor would I wish anything else, and thank you. For saying so now."

Sybil can only take his hand and kiss him softly, the stick still ominous in one hand. Yet, when she does turn to look at it, the markings have not changed. There is no second line, and that is both a relief and a disappointment. Sybil turns to Henri, a hand still tight in his. "I don't know what I should feel."

[jaimemieux]

Henri licked his lips, gaze flickering from the device to Sybil. He had heard of these tests, even understood the principle behind them, but before now he had had no reason to learn how they displayed the result. Nevertheless, he found the look on Sybil’s face easy to read, and a similar wash of pain and surprising disappointment went through him as well. “Then you are not…?” he began, only managing half the question.

[adifferentlife]

"No," she says, looking again to the small bit of plastic with its lack of stripes. Sybil looks back up at him, unsure of what to say or how she should feel. It's disappointing, but there's also a kernel of relief which is confusing and makes her feel worse. "I'm- We, are not."

[jaimemieux]

“Very well,” Henri murmured, relief and loss mingling in his voice. “Then that is what is meant to be. For now.” He took both of Sybil’s hands. “My darling, we have the chance to do it right, do you see? We were meant to choose our own fate, without the meddling hand of tradition, or chance, or family.” He flashed a ghost of a smile. “And we should not be ashamed of that."

[adifferentlife]

He is kind, and good, and she loves him with every bit of her being she thinks, especially in this moment. His words are soothing and encouraging, and she smiles at him though it is a tentative thing. "We can, and we should. Thank you."

[jaimemieux]

Henri kissed her softly upon the forehead. Words formed on his lips that he should have spoken some time ago; Sybil deserved a true apology for the distance he had allowed to develop between them since they had returned from their dreamlike adventure to Downton. “I know I have not been the most easy man to love of late. I have been far more distracted than you deserve. But you are always first in my heart, Sybil, even when I do a poor job of showing it."

[adifferentlife]

"And you, mine," she says, his words more than she had hoped to hear. Sybil had become used to their distance, the space between them something she had accepted albeit with difficulty. She loved him, no matter what the strain in their relationship, and she knows that the tension is not only his fault but also her own. "It is not only you that has had a hard time of it."

[jaimemieux]

“I know.” He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek and smiled - though with a certain sadness. “Nevertheless, that does not excuse my own behavior.” Henri took a breath. “You will forgive me?"

[adifferentlife]

She takes a moment to look at him; at his glasses almost askew, at the hair that curled over his forehead and collar, the flush of his cheeks and the earnest sincerity in his eyes. There is no doubt in her mind that she would forgive him a great deal more than this. "Always."

[jaimemieux]

With a sheepish laughed, Henri ducked his head. “Thank God.” He took a breath, smiling with more certainty as he met her gaze again. Everything would be all right, he told himself. “What do you say to dinner, perhaps? We might order take-out. Some of those egg rolls."

[adifferentlife]

With those words, and the many halting ones that came before them, things again seemed right to Sybil. It seemed that Henri and she were again finding their way together, however strange the path they were on might be. "Please. Some of the flat noodles with the duck and black bean sauce too."